


House on Fire

by AndYetNotBeingDisenchanted



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, M/M, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia, Pregnant Julian, Slow Burn, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndYetNotBeingDisenchanted/pseuds/AndYetNotBeingDisenchanted
Summary: Before Garak goes back to Cardassia he and Julian have sex making Julian fall pregnant. He goes to Cardassia to find Garak. Doctor Selar, Data and Geordi La Forge are stationed on Cardassia.





	1. Chapter 1

I can go back to Cardassia, Garak thought, sitting up in bed, heavy colors falling around his waist to reveal his scaled chest, toned at the top, slowly tapering into a slight belly sitting at the bottom, some scales running up it to his pectorals, but if the doctor stays on the station- I may opt to stay as well. He shivered, pulling the blanket back up as he laid back into bed. He was in love with the doctor, that was a fact he would not deny- not anymore, what was the point of deceiving oneself, especially about something that could change so easily- like the tides and the rains on Bajor, or like the winds and heat waves on Cardassia. But it wouldn’t Garak said to himself, It wouldn’t because you’ve been enamored with him since you first laid eyes on him five years ago; you’ve been attracted to him since you laid hands on those firm shoulders after your first meeting; you’ve been in love with him since he treated your illness with no regard for his own loss of life and limb, you’ve been in love with him for four years. Garak sighed. Pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

Garak got up after laying in his bed without sleep for too long. He ordered a Kanar from the replicator, he wasn’t ordinarily one for drinking so early, but nothing was particularly ordinary about the situation he found himself. Formal obsidian order agent completely in love- head over heels (as Julian would say) with a starfleet doctor. He sighed, downing the drink in a matter of seconds, wincing at the burning feeling in the back of his throat, replicating another nonetheless. He would have to go back, he reckoned, staying for the doctor who didn’t have romantic feelings for him- who had a girlfriend- would be pathetic, the act of an old man who was- in his old age- becoming weak, deprived of feelings he had prided himself with not needing in the first place.

Garak pulled on a tunic and slacks, downing a third Kanar before making his way to the replimat. The alcohol in his blood didn’t seem to be affecting him in the slighted, his stride was straight, he train of thought was steady, he would say that- perhaps he was in too sober a mood to truly become intoxicated no matter the amount of alcohol in his blood. He walked into his shops, finishing off three commissions and turning down a women who came to him asking for a dress. With a cordial smile he turned her away, ‘I’ll be going back to Cardassia tomorrow morning.” he had said.

“Really? Is Doctor Bashir going with you?” she asked, her nose ridges stretching out as her eyebrows raised.

“No.” Garak said. Ignoring the flood of questions the women’s intrusive attitude had caused.

“Oh, did you two break up?” Garak’s breath caught at that, he simply nodded and watched as she left the store, a sympathetic smile before she turned her back. If Garak said he was happy about how things turned out, he would be lying, not that it would be a surprise- to anyone, much less the good doctor. Garak pushed himself farther into his chair and his fingers farther into the fabric, his fingers stitching with veritable perfection. He closed his eyes tight and tried not to look out onto the promenade, where Julian walked with the new Dax- an insufferable young woman, much too presumptuous, thought she knew something about him. That she had something he wanted, which she did- to be fair, she had Julian Bashir. Garak looked back at his work, he was just going to finish the last of his commissions before he went back to Cardassia, the war was over, after all, and even the Cardassian people weren’t proud enough to refuse a helping hand in a time of crisis- in a time when it seemed that Cardassia may not make it without the help. Garak sighed, he could not deny Julian a goodbye (he wouldn’t admit it- but he couldn’t deny one to himself either), even if Julian saw him as a friend and nothing more, he deserved to know that it would not only be Chief O'brien leaving, but Garak as well.

He sighed and set off towards sickbay, with a pretense, as always- he loathed his desire for pretense, why could he not simply wish to bid the man he loved goodbye- possibly forever! “The casualty report still coming in, well aren’t you going to congratulate me, doctor? My exile is now officially over, I have returned home, or what’s left of it. You know, some may say we've gotten just what we deserved; after all, we aren’t exactly innocent are we- and I’m not just speaking of the Bajoran occupation- no our whole history is one of arrogant aggression. We’ve collaborated with the Dominion, betrayed the entire alpha quadrant, there is no doubt about it, we are guilty as charged.” And then he was back at it, criticizing the doctor for trying to comfort him! Garak bit his lip as he made his way towards the sickbay doors for what he thought would be the last time, he bit his lip as Julian made no attempt to follow him.

And then a strangled sound from the doctor that almost resembled a word made Garak stop in his tracks. “Garak- my dear!” and his footfall. Garak turned around to see Julian walking up to him, his hands clenched at his sides. He walked until they were so close Garak could reach up and stroke the younger man’s cleanly shaven jaw. He could feel his carefully constructed control deteriorating as the scales of his shoulders flushed and swelled. As his lip trembled despite his teeth in it. Julian was so close, his eyes flicked towards Garak’s lips, before jerking back to his eyes. “Garak, my dear, I- I don’t know what I want.”

“Oh you don’t, do you doctor? How very surprising.” Garak said, trying to recall his genial smile.

“Garak, stop it.” Julian said, stepping closer yet, “You don’t have to keep up this charade. Not with me. Not anymore.” the harsh lights of sickbay just made the doctor look more innocent, the smile that once seemed naive and guileless now seemed so knowing, the extra lines on his face and the undisguised intelligence in his eyes somewhat concerned, “I don’t want to seem presumptuous, my love.” Garak’s breath hitched at both the connotation and the endearment.

“Never, Doctor.” Garak said.

“It’s Julian, Garak- please, at least now, call me Julian.”

“Of course, Julian.” Garak said, his breath hitching again as Julian’s hand came up to caress his face just before he brought lips down to meet his, “How I adore you, my love.” Garak said as they broke apart.

“Let’s go to my quarters, Garak.”

“Mine are closer.”

 

Of course he didn’t remember. Julian cursed himself for hoping- for leading himself to believe that it could mean anything, but he wanted it so desperately, he wanted the life that he had fantasized about starting with Garak for almost seven years- seven years of letting his affections fester, becoming based off a fantasy and not on anything real, anything that he could trust in the slightest. He was an idiot, and that was putting it kindly. The war was over, the Cardassian government had fallen and of course, of course Garak would be returning to Cardassia! He loved Cardassia! All of the literature about loyalty to the state, all of the tidbits and all of the anecdotes about the beauty, the inherent glory of Cardassia. Garak would have gladly traded in every moment with Julian to be returned to Cardassia, his homeworld. Julian thought about the previous day in sickbay, Garak bidding him goodbye and Julian kissing him, allowing himself to be lead into Garak’s, not empty quarters, allowing Garak to make gentle love to him on the floor of what used to be his bedroom. He had woken up alone, so perhaps it wasn’t fair for him to say that Garak had forgotten, or that he simply did not care, when put that way it was clear as day, of course Garak didn’t really care about him, or if he did- he cared about Cardassia more.

Julian would have gladly accompanied the other man to Cardassia, he would have been thrilled to go! But Garak didn’t want him to, he may have, but not enough to ask. Julian let out a sob, he was still sitting on the floor of Garak’s quarters, he wiped his eyes and tried to find his uniform. He hadn’t felt so dirty since he used to go out just to get fucked in highschool, and then when he was at the academy. He cried some more just looking for it. He loved Garak. He loved him, and he’s let himself believe that those feelings were reciprocated, but they weren’t, of course they weren’t, that would be too much to ask for. Julian pulled on his uniform, wiping tears away again, drying tears on the sleeve of his uniform. He walked out of Garak’s quarters, stumbling into his own, showering and getting a new uniform before sinking into the couch, his hands quivering slightly as tears began to fall.

He took a deep breath, slowing the fall of tears as he straightened his hair and shaved the little bit of stubble that had accumulated on his jawline. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, a trick he had picked up when he was fifteen and just coming to understand the nature of his genetic enhancements. He walked out into the corridor, standing in a corridor and making his way towards Sickbay. He smiled at the Bajoran passerby, pausing in the replimat to chat with the Colonel. She smiled when she saw him, “There are just a few of us left, Doctor.” she said, “But don’t think you owe me anything- or Ezri, I think we would both understand if you wanted to go to Cardassia we would both support you, completely. I know that you have a taste for frontier medicine, Doctor.” she smiled.

“What is this really about, Colonel?” Julian asked, taking a step away from Nerys.

“I know that Garak left the station, this morning.” she said, “And I know that you know, I can tell by the bags under your eyes and the tear stains on your cheeks. I know that you love Garak, and I know how much it hurts you to see him go.”

“How do you know that, Colonel?” he asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I know because I just watched Odo go back to the link. I know because I just watched Quark watch Odo go back to the link, I know because I just watched Ezri watch Worf get onto the Defiant. You have the same look that all of us had, you feel the same thing. I know that you’re seeing Ezri, but I know you aren’t in love with her. She knows that you’re not in love with her.”

“How does she know that?”

“That’s not really mine to tell you.” Nerys said, smiling and grasping Julian’s shoulder, “She’s in her office, waiting for you.”

Julian nodded, thanking the Colonel before making his way towards the Counseling office. Grasping his hands in front of his pelvis when he stepped into her office, “Ezri.” he said, “Kira said- he said that you wanted to talk to me.”

“I do.” Ezri smiled, standing up and wrapping he arms around Julian.” I- I needed to tell you. I needed to tell you that- that I’m leaving. I got a job counseling on the Enterprise. Deanna Troi, the betazoid, is getting onto a ship with William Riker and-” she smiled, “Julian, it’s the job I’ve always wanted.”

“I- I’m happy for you.” he said, “Truly, I am.” he looked down, smiling at the ground. “I have a confession to make Ezri- I- last night, that is, Garak and I- we-”

“I know.” she said, “And I forgive you, but I don’t want you to come onto the Enterprise with me, we- we’re over, romantically, Julian, it wasn’t going to work out anyway, you were in love with Garak from the beginning, Jadzia knew it, and I know it.”

“I’m sorry.” he said.

“No, you have nothing to apologize for, I should have known better.”

“Colonel.” Julian said, leaning in the doorway of her office- of Captain Sisko’s office- but he remained off the station, “I’ve decided, I’m going to go to Cardassia, not for Garak- but because I’ve always had a taste for Frontier medicine.” he smiled, “I’ve contacted Starfleet already with my request for transfer. The Enterprise will take me to a rendezvous with a shuttle heading to Cardassia with officers on their way their.”

“Fantastic, Julian!” she said, a smile etching itself onto her face, “Congratulations. That’s really great” she stood up and hugged him, “I’m glad you’re doing this. This is great. I’ll start looking for new  CMO’s right away, don’t worry about anything, just go to Cardassia. Not that I love Cardassia, but it will be perfect for you- the best doctor in the fleet needs to be where people really need him.”

“Thank you, Nerys.” he said, “Thank you for encouraging me to go for it.

 

Julian stepped off of the shuttle behind Geordi La Forge, Data and Selar of the Enterprise, he looked back at them briefly as he walked towards the assignments center- a large tent at the edge of the city. “Commanders.” he said, turning around when they stood in line, “Doctor, it is a pleasure to meet you, my name is Julian Bashir, I was the CMO on Deep Space Nine- I was for the last seven years.”

Geordi smiled and extended a hand, nudging Data to do the same. Selar only straightened her back, “Doctor Julian Bashir, you were augmented as a child, were you not?”

“Er- I was, yes, Starfleet agreed to allow me to maintain my position on the station and have extended that to my position here on Cardassia.” Julian looked down at his feet, “Sorry, I was not expecting that question.” he smiled, “I’ve read a lot about your research and your projects, Doctor Selar.”

“Thank you, Doctor Bashir. I have read about your projects in xenobiology and Cardassian medicine; I have no doubt that you are very well suited for this position. You will be my commanding officer here, assuming we are positioned on the same base.” she nodded.

“It is - a pleasure to see you again, doctor, it has been quite some time since we last met. I have too have been keeping up with your studies” Data said, his white skin glistening in the Cardassian sun. His hand was linked with Geordi’s.

Julian shifted, "Thank you, commander; it's good to see you too. And you, Commander Laforge." 

Geordi smiled, "I’m honored to serve with a war hero.” he said.

“Oh- I’m not a war hero, Commander.”

“My name is Geordi- and you kind of are, Doctor.”

“Call me Julian.” he smiled, “I’m honored that you think that.” they all looked at the assignments desk, a young Cardassian woman sat behind it.

“Species?”

“Human”

“Surname?”

“Bashir.”

“Julian?”

“Yes.”

She handed him a clipboard.

“Species?”

“Human.”

“Surname?”

“La Forge.”

“Geordi?”

“Yes.”

“Species?”

“Android.”

“Surname?”

“My only name is Data.”

“Species?”

“Vulcan.”

“Name?”

“Selar.”

Julian read his paper before turning back towards the women at the desk, “Do you know an Elim Garak?” he asked.

“No. You’re holding up the line.”

Julian nodded and rejoined the officers from the Enterprise, “Elim Garak?” Geordi asked, his augmented eyes flicking up towards him from the clipboard.

“Just a friend.” he said.

“Judging by the elevation of your blood pressure and body temperature, he is no simple friend.” Data said, his yellow eyes studying the other man.

Julian blinked briefly before his knees started to shake, “Doctor?” Selar asked as Julian’s knees buckled and Data kept him standing with a hand around his waist. Selar took a step towards him, placing two fingers on his wrist to take his pulse, increasing her mental shields so that she couldn’t pick up on his emotions. “Are you pregnant, Doctor?” she asked as Julian came to, evoking a raised eyebrow from Geordi.

“No, of course I’m not pregnant.” Julian said, straightening his back and standing on his own, “I’m a man, Doctor Selar.”

“Doctor, as I am sure you are aware, standard augmentation for men, includes implantation of a womb and ovulation invoked by sexual intercourse with a supposed permanent partner.” Selar raised an eyebrow, “You have two heartbeats, one steady, most likely yours, the other very fast and weak, most likely that of a fetus. Have you had sexual intercourse as the receiving end of a male male act  in the last twelve weeks?”

Julian blinked and opened and closed his eyes, “Yes- I have.” he paused, looking at his feet, “Shit.”

Geordi took Data’s hand and lead him into another booth

“When we have our equipment I will give you a formal check up to confirm the pregnancy, Doctor.” Selar said.

 

Julian stood in an office, a biobed on one side and a desk on the other, his equipment put away in the cabinets. Selar stood in the doorway, her office would be in the next room, both opened up to a room full of cots and biobeds, lined with tables with tricorders in their drawers. They had five nurses and a receptionist working for them, “We’ll open for business tomorrow.” Julian said, smiling at the Vulcan woman.

“Business, Doctor?”

“Taking patients, I mean.” he smiled again, scratching the back of his neck.

Selar held up her tricorder, beginning the scan at Julian’s head and hovering over his abdomen, “You are undoubtedly pregnant, Doctor Bashir.” she said, placing the tricorder in her belt, “I believe that ‘Congratulations’ is the orefered statement in this situation.”

Julian felt tears prickling in the back of his eyes, “I’m sorry.” he said as tears began to fall, “I know I’m not being logical- I’m just scared.” he said, placing his head in his hand.

“No. no apology is necessary, Doctor.” Selar said, “I believe I can relate- however illogically- to your emotions at this time.”

“Like I don’t deserve to be loved? Like the first person I’ve ever really been in love with shirked me aside after one night.”

“Yes. The woman I believed loved me in return ended our romantic affiliation at the mere prospect of the first officer returning her affections.” Selar said, “She called me imzadi, and I called her ashayam, I believed that she would be my bondmate and I believed that she understood the nature of Vulcan relationships and monogamy. I was mistaken on both counts.” she nodded at Julian.

“I’m sorry.” Julian said.

“Apologies when you are not the offender are more illogical than apologies themselves.”

“Right. Anyway; thank you, Doctor.” Julian said, smiling, “I need some time to think.” he said. Watching as Selar left the room. He picked up his clipboard, looking at the quarters assignment before leaving the clinic in that direction.

 

Garak sighed, leaving the government administration building for his apartment closer to the edge of the city. Two men stood in front of the building, both looked human, though one had white skin and the other had clearly computerized pupils, they wore starfleet uniforms, engineering or security. “Gentlemen.” Garak said with a smile plastered onto his face, “I hate to interrupt your- no doubt- stimulating conversation, but I must ask you to move slightly so I can make my way to my apartment.”

The computerized eyed man smiled, “Ah, of course, sorry about that, sir.” he smiled, “I’m Commander Geordi La Forge, by the way, I guess we’re neighbors. This is Captain Data.”

“A pleasure, I am Legate Elim Garak.”

“Elim Garak?” asked Geordi.

“Yes.” Garak said, internally groaning, looking past the men in the doorway.

“Do you know Doctor Julian Bashir? From Deep Space Nine?” Geordi asked, eliciting a breath hitch from Garak.

“He does know him,” Data whispered, “His heart rate just elevated 35%”

Garak looked at Data, trying to regulate his heartbeat as he was trained to by Enabran Tain. “We lived on the station together for almost a decade.” Garak said, “If you would allow it, sirs, I would very much like to go to my apartment.”

Garak pushed past the other men and walked up the staircase to his apartment. He closed his eyes once he was behind the closed door, trying to stifle the feelings that the mere mention of Julian brought. _Was Julian on Cardassia? Did Julian ask about him? Did Julian miss him? Did Julian still think about him? Was Julian still seeing the Trill?_ Garak put a thought to the stream of questions. He pressed his lips together and looked at the sparsely decorated apartment, all of the furniture came with the apartment, the only things he had brought were the isolinear rods Julian had given to him, the one paper bound book Julian had given him and a small framed picture of Julian in his Starfleet uniform.

Garak sighed, he truly was pathetic- pining for the younger man he had left on the station in an attempt to escape his feelings- a horribly failed attempt- he would be the first to admit it, after all, it was horribly failed,  _ Distance only makes the heart grow fonder _ he thought, unconsciously thinking in Julian’s vernacular.

Garak poured himself a Kanar and stepped into the sonic shower, water was a premium on Cardassia and Garak couldn’t pay it, nor would he want to, not when other people needed it so desperately, not when every day he worked on rationing. With his mathematical experience he was one of the most qualified people working on the relief effort, he knew more than most of the people who had been running the government before the fall. Garak was one of the higher ups when it came to the Cardassian government as it was, a young scientist named Gilora Rejal was in charge, she had been elected to represent Cardassia, if one was to ask Garak what he thought of the young woman his report would most certainly not be the most flattering, but she was personable- as Cardassians went- and she was generally well liked. 

Garak remembered her being on the station briefly at one time, several years prior, but he wasn’t an officer and he rarely had the opportunity to know the more intricate starfleet going ons within the station. He particularly remembered the uncomfortably close call to Julian discovering how frankly, shameless his flirting with the young Doctor was. 

Someone knocked on his door, once twice, three times.

“We found him! Data and I found him.” Geordi said as soon as Julian let him into his apartment.

“Very sorry, Commander, but could you back up a bit?” Julian said, blinking, he held a raktajino in his hands and leaned into the wall, resting a hand on his lower belly as he did so.”

“Wait, are you actually pregnant?”

Julian nodded, “I’m an augment, implanted uterus, the like.”

Geordi nodded, “We found Elim Garak, he lives in the same building as us.”

“You found Garak?”

“Yea. Yea we did.” Geordi said, trailing off, “What were you two? I don’t mean to pry -”

“No, no, it’s fine, we were friends, best friends. I used to think I was his only friend. And I thought we were in love with each other… I just - I was wrong.” he nodded, looking at his drink, “I mean I loved him, I still love him, I was just wrong about the - the reciprocation of those feelings.”

“Is he the - the father?"

“Yes.”

“You have to tell him. I mean, that’s why you came, isn’t it? To find him?”


	2. Chapter 2

Julian held his breath as the door to Garak’s apartment. As soon as the door open his knees were locking. Garak’s eyebrows rose, he swayed slightly, leaning into Garak’s chest as he lost consciousness. He woke up on Garak’s couch, suddenly dizzy, he pressed his eyes closed as soon as they were opened. “My dear doctor.” he heard Garak’s voice and the dizziness increased.

“Shit.” he whispered as a towel was pressed to his forehead.

“It must be the heat, my dear.” Garak whispered, placing a hand on Julian’s shoulder while he pressed the towel onto the younger man’s head. 

“Or the fact that I’m pregnant.” Julian muttered.

“What?” Julian couldn’t breath again, his fists clenched and he could feel himself fainting again, “Nevermind that, my dear.” Garak said, his voice clearly strained, “Let’s focus on getting you well, darling.” Garak grasped Julian’s shoulder again and glanced out the window, “What would you like to drink? You are the doctor, aren’t you? What is it safe for a pregnant man to drink?” Garak closed his eyes and pressed his lips together, “My dear?” he asked, turning around to see Julian sitting up on the couch.

“Orange juice.”

“How quaint.” Garak said, ordering a cup from the replicator and handing it to Julian before sitting down next to him. “Pregnant? That is the equivalent of - ah, gravid, is it not?”

Julian smiled around his glass, “I suppose it is, Love.” Julian said, immediately paling, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“Which part?”

“The-”

“Endearment?”

“Yes.”

“So I assume you don’t feel that way?”

“No. No. It’s not that at all…” Julian looked at his orange juice, “I feel like absolute shit.” 

“I’m sorry, don’t say anything.” Garak said, “I just want you to know, my dear… I want you to know that, without any deceit, I love you, my dear. I am in love you.” Garak put an arm around Julian, “May I kiss you?”

Julian nodded, hoping Garak didn’t mind the tears streaming down his face. He pressed his lips into Julian’s in response when he felt the scales meet his, “I love you too.” Julian said, pressing his forehead into Garak’s, “I love you so much.”

“I’m so glad you came, my dear.” Garak said, his eyes flitting down to Julian’s rounded belly, “May I?”

Julian nodded, taking Garak’s hand and pressing it to his belly, “It’s a boy.” he said.

“A boy?” Garak’s eyes were watering.

Julian sipped his his orange juice, sighing and letting his eyes flutter closed, “Why did you leave, Garak?” he asked, his voice scarcely above a whisper. 

“I - I was under the impression that you. Well, my dear, I was under the impression that you were in a relationship with Counselor Dax.” Garak froze, “Are you - in a relationship with Counselor Dax?”

“No. No, we broke up.” Julian smiled, “I - it wasn’t going to work anyway, I was much to in love with you for us to ven have a chance.” 

Garak smiled, rubbing Julian’s arm, “Where are you staying, my dear?”

“At the new Starfleet medical building.”

“Live here, live here with me, my dear.”

Julian nodded, beaming, “I love you so much.” he said breathlessly, pressing a kiss to the other man’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> The name comes from the New Order song 'As it is When it was.'


End file.
